We live in a world where reality TV, social media and the press promote lives and looks that are airbrushed, unreal and quite frankly, unobtainable. Yet, some people still strive for it. Once known as “Keeping up with the Jones’s” is now “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. I shake my head. Maybe I’m showing my age, but if we all end up looking the same, how can you stand out from the crowd?
There are so many ways to look, feel and be unique, here I’ve suggested 11 ways to stand out from the crowd, be free to create your own way!
1.Walk your own walk. Comparing ourselves, our lives and how we measure up to others is perfectly normal. It can be good for personal growth, self-improvement, for inspiration about what we want and where we want to be, but to constantly compare ourselves to other people and their lives, can cause frustration, resentment, self-doubt and even depression. You are unique, there is only one you, be proud, embrace all of your quirky ways, own it!
2. “Be independent of the good opinion of other people.” – Abraham Maslow. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen, there are times when the opinions and advice of well meaning folk can be a good thing, other times it can steer you off course and before you know it, your back following the crowd. So trust your gut. No one knows what’s right for you, better than you do.
3. Be in the moment. Live more in the present. Being present and in the moment allows you to focus on how you are feeling, behaving, responding and thinking about yourself right now, instead of being distracted wondering how others might perceive you in the moment, or in the future.
4. Practice confidence (even when you don’t feel confident) You’ve heard the saying “Fake it till you make it.” Confident people radiate confidence, you can see it, you can sense it and believe it or not, they won’t always feel it, but they summon it until they are filled with it. Whenever you feel a little shaky, close your eyes, imagine what confidence feels like, breathe it in, fill up on it and then let it radiate.
5. Check your posture. Often. Walk, sit and talk with your head up, shoulders back, spine straight. You will automatically feel more confident, more powerful and you will stand out! Try it now!
6. Dress to impress (even if you’re only impressing yourself, the dog, the goldfish, the postie) Wear clothes and footwear that make you feel good. You don’t have to do a Lady GaGa to stand out from the crowd, you just need to feel that you stand out from the crowd! During lockdown a lot of us (myself included) got used to flopping about in tracksuits, leggings, onesies, baggy jeans, slippers or bare feet. Back in the 1980’s we used to “Power Dress”, now I’m not suggesting you dig out the shoulder pads (unless that’s your style) but when you get up in the morning, even if you’re working from home, dress for success.
7. Be approachable. Some people go about their day, heads down, scrolling through their phone, listening to music with headphones on, avoiding eye contact, staring off into space disconnected from the real world. It’s awkward to start a conversation, to exchange a smile, ask for help or interact in any way when you’re shut off, so if you want to stand out from the crowd, try being more approachable, look happier. You never know, it might lead to a serendipitous meeting, a meaningful connection, a small act of kindness coming from you, or coming at you.
8. Be friendly. My mother always said that back in her day, people were friendlier, more neighbourly. They would take time to talk to one another, to connect, offer help or assistance, and generally check in on each others well-being. Refrain from being overly critical, judgy or too opinionated. Remember names and faces and if you need to practice (I sure do) then practice.
9. Smile. Smiling, real or fake, releases our feel good hormones 🙂 Smile at yourself in front of the mirror, smile at someone in the street, smile at the check-out, smile when your alone, sing out loud, start with this little beauty… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbZSe6N_BXs
10. Listen. People like to be heard, listened to, when someone has your attention, you have theirs. We can get so absorbed thinking about how to respond that we stop listening to what’s being said. Listen, absorb and then reply. Listening is another mindfulness practice. Get still for a moment, focus your entire attention of what you can hear, just for a moment. You’ll be surprised how much you’ve been missing.
11. Fall in love (with yourself) Self-love is not the same as being vain or consumed with your own self-importance. But if you don’t love yourself with all your heart, then how can you expect to be loved? Remind yourself that you are a beautiful spirit having a human experience. Become more aware of how you talk and think about yourself, and if you find your self-talk is negative, stop in your tracks and flip it! Surround yourself with people that lift and inspire you. Do more of those things that lift your spirits and make you feel happy. Take care of yourself in the same way you would take care of a loved one. Be that loved one.
