July 2021. While I quarantine at home after treating myself a two week stay at The Oceano Spa Hotel Tenerife, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to write about my experience of the amazing FX Mayr Cure.

A good few years ago, I stayed at the Original FX Mayr at Lake Worthersee in Austria, but only for 5 days. I recall my friends parting words as she dropped me off at the airport; “5 days isn’t enough you know, you need at least 2 weeks.” I scoffed.

She was right.

Although back then, I felt pretty good after 5 days, I didn’t really notice any real change in my weight, sleep quality, bloated belly, craving for wine and spicy food or indeed, lifestyle, so this time I went all out.

I chose Tenerife, in order to bask in the sun and swim in the ocean after the excruciatingly long Covid19 pandemic, not to mention the fact that The Oceano was half the price of a stay at one of the VIVAMAYR’s in Austria (a note on this later)

It was a big birthday, my weight and waistline had ballooned over lockdown, I felt sluggish, constantly bloated and fatigued. Husbands treat, happy days. Off I trot, solo.

Revered by celebrities like Rebel Wilson and Victoria Beckham, the FX Mayr hotels are medical health resorts, so if you’re looking for aesthetic beauty treatments during your stay, you will have arrived at the wrong place. If you’re looking to reboot your health from the inside out (literally) you will have arrived at the perfect place.

The “cure” is based on rest, detoxification and cleansing of the digestive tract. And let me tell you, it’s not always attractive.

On my first morning I was scheduled to see the doctor. We spent about an hour going through my medical history, diet and lifestyle, taking measurements, blood pressure, weight etc, after which I was prescribed magnesium and potassium tablets to take before every meal and an antacid powder mixture to take 3x a day. My diet plan was also prescribed, I was to be on Phase 2 for the first week and Phase 3 for the second week, basically a restrictive alkalising diet complemented by 2-3 daily holistic medical treatments (more on the treatments later).

My mornings began at 7am. I would throw open my curtains and balcony doors, marvel at the panoramic view of the Mediterranean and inhale the glorious ocean air. Next, the tumbler of “bitter water” aka Epsom Salts.

Top tip #1 – DO NOT LEAVE YOUR ROOM (or venture far from the loo) FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR. Top tip #2 – IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, DO NOT ROOM SHARE! Your bathroom will be your sanctuary and there is a zero tolerance protocol when nature calls. Enough said.

Breakfast

On my particular diet plan, breakfast consisted of a stale spelt bread roll, sheep milk yoghurt, a few pieces of papaya, a dollop of almond butter and a veggie shot.

The point of the stale spelt bread (which was tasty by the way) is that it takes a lot of chewing. Chewing is a BIG THING at the Mayr. You chew everything at least 50 times so that you salivate, allowing your food, when finally swallowed, to be easily digestible. It’s recommended you take between 30-45  minutes to eat each meal. Now this might sound like along time to devour so little, but if eaten correctly, that’s about how long it takes.

You are advised to eat in silence, savouring every mouthful, mindful eating basically, but it wasn’t easy at first. I thought a lot about how I usually ate, bite, chomp, swallow, gulp water or wine, usually while chatting to whoever I happened to be eating with, and if I would eat alone, looking at my phone, checking emails, scrolling through social media, watching TV, never really paying much attention to what or how I was eating, followed by delivering to my digestive system a continual series of short sharp shocks of half chewed food, , water, wine and air, and expecting it to do all the hard work. And it was hard work. I could feel it.

Every day between 11am and 12pm I would help myself to a bowl of clear alkaline based broth (one small bowl or 2 tea cups allowed)

Lunch

Lunch during the first week consisted of the same as breakfast, except half a small avocado (or a few slices of) in place of the papaya. Week 2 the yoghurt (which by now I was actually enjoying) was replaced by a delicious homemade soup and a slice of lemon. WOO  HOO!

Dinner

At dinner, more soup, 3 wafers plus one supplement (choice of a small pot of curd cheese, red pepper mousse, salmon mousse, or a small slice of cured salmon) and a squeeze of lemon juice.

I was advised not to drink anything at all with my meals and nothing for at least 15 minutes after.

Delectable menus out of the way, the thing that made all of this pleasurable, were the treatments… OH MY GOODNESS. 2/3 glorious treatments per day, every day = PURE BLISS.

Most days I had what’s known as a “special massage” (don’t go there) these massages were truly out-of-body like experiences. I can hardly describe them.

Top tip #3 – if you tend to be a bit reserved or straight-laced by nature, leave it at the door, there is little room for modesty here. Again, enough said.

Algae wraps, liver packs, abdominal massages, shiatzu’s to die for, colonic irrigation, head massages, salt water swimming, yoga, fully equipped gym, beautiful walks, I was in heaven.

At the start of my journey I was constantly bloated, my stomach was always sore and painful, with occasional bouts of IBS, I was overweight, I lacked energy, my blood pressure was headed the wrong way,  ½ bottle of wine a day (at weekends often more) was the norm, often skipping breakfast, bite for lunch, big evening meal and snacks in between. My skin was dry, my nails were brittle and my hair required a ton of conditioner at every wash. I felt age creeping up on me.

At the end of my “cure” and at my final medical examination, I felt invigorated and energised, my blood pressure had normalised, my sore, bloated stomach calm and almost flat, 10lb weight loss, 2.5 inches off my waistline, liver shrunk back to a healthy normal, my complexion (thanks also to the sun and sea) has a youthful glow, hair bouncy as an TV shampoo advert. I am renewed.

I have continued the cure here at home during my quarantine period and have now arrived at the end of the 3^rd week. It’s no exaggeration to say that I feel 10 years younger and very likely healthier than I was 10 years ago!

And so to the point I made at the beginning regarding the price being half that of other FX Mayr retreats. The Oceano is not the 5* luxury one would expect considering the hefty price tag, my room was a spacious studio on the top floor, a little understated to say the least, but with amazing views over majestic mountains and a deep blue sea. So if luxury is at the top of your wish list, I might suggest taking a look at VIVAMAYR Altaussee or VIVAMAYR Maria Wörth. On the other hand, if rebooting your overall health and wellbeing, being by the ocean and soaking up the sun for half the price appeals to you, you can’t go far wrong with OCÉANO Health Spa Hotel.

Personally, I intend to make the FX Mayr Cure an annual pilgrimage. Why? Because I feel fabulous!

By the way, if you visit the Oceano you don’t have to do the FX Mayr Cure, you can enjoy the delicious and nutritious cuisine served at La Marea restaurant on the ground floor, overlooking the pristine pool and gardens with direct views of the ocean. A place where you can point and laugh at the poor souls eating stale bread and yoghurt upstairs.

A new, slimmer, healthier, happier version of my previous self, is signing off… for now.

For more information visit:

https://www.oceano.de/

https://www.original-mayr.com/